When you don´t speak, you can listen.
I speak too much.
- When you don´t speak, you can listen to what others say
- When you don´t speak, you can listen to others and look at them with attention, trying to deeply understand them, their desires, what moves them
- When you don´t speak, you can listen to yourself, to what is going on inside yourself
- When you don´t speak, you can listen around, hear what is happening around you
When I don´t speak I feel energized, I feel empowered.
Speaking involves throwing energy away (after an intense class of Bikram I don´t want to speak, actually voice hardly comes from me).
But it´s not just about energy, it´s about continence, about controlling yourself.
More often than not, there is no real purpose in what I say.
It´s just speaking for not being quiet. Speaking too much is like eating too much, or like watching too much TV or checking social media too much, or like walking fast for no reason.
Continence is key to self control.
Therefore, speak less.
Or, better said, speak when necessary, when you have something to say.
Maybe it´s not as often as you might think.
(In that sense I still have a lot to learn from my wife)