I have been practicing yoga 6 days a week for the last (almost) 3 months.

• Almost everyday a full session of Ashtanga Yoga Series.
• Almost everyday, at least, 2 hours of yoga.

Still my mind keeps tricking me.

Today,

While practicing,

I was cold, it was cold in the flat and I couldn´t get warm.

I didn´t start to sweat and I was considering the option of stopping, even after about 30 or 40 minutes (around Purvottanasana) .

I was thinking things like:

1. «Why do I need to practice everyday?
2. «Today I ame at the seaside with the familiy. Why don´t I just go out for a walk and join them?»
3. «See? I´ve been practicing for 3 months straight and still I didn´t get anywhere. On top of that, I am not that good. Look, I want to stop today. Let´s get out of here.»

Then, suddenly, I realized it.

It was my mind tricking me.

Again!

Then I decided to not listen to it,

I decided to just do what I had to do.

Continue with the practice.

Push a little bit until I started to sweat.

Then everything started to flow again. I felt motivated and enthusiast, I flowed from one asana to the other, I enjoyed Vinyasa inbetween and finished with upside down postures which I enjoyed.

The feeling at the end was great, as usual.

P.S. Your mind will keep tricking you forever.

Just do what you have to do.

Keep going.

By daily practice you can:

1. Control your mind
2. Supress your ego
3. Shine your intellect

– BKS Iyengar –

There is nothing wrong with the mind.

It can let you remember things from the past, dream with a brilliant future and make complex calculations.

It is a great tool,

Just like your hand, your stomach or your eyes.

The problem with the mind is that it can easily rule your life from the backstage, with and even without your awareness, making you believe things that are true or not true.

Yoga daily practice controls your mind.

For the last 2.5 months I have woken up everyday at 6 am to do my Ashtanga Yoga series for almost 2 hours.

Only until this last week, the Monkey Mind was complaining, asking «Do you really need to wake up that early? Do you really need to practice Yoga now?

Only since last week I wake up happily and enjoy from the first moment, knowing that the practice will do good to me, that I feel better after practice, that my mind is calmer when I practice almost 2 hours Yoga everyday.

Only with discipline I got to control my mind

• When we don´t have 5 seconds to apprecidate the beauty of a little 1-year-old girl trying to make her first steps
• When we don´t have 10 seconds to let a person cross the door at their own pace and we have to pass them on the side
• When we don´t have 25 seconds to wait until the traffic light turns green

Then it means that we are doing too much.

Our intentions are good, but we do too much.

• We are all too busy buying presents for our loved ones
• We are all too busy making plans and preparing things for others and for ourselves, so that we can have fun and enjoy
• We are all too busy, keeping our houses clean and good looking, taking care of our bodies and looks, for us and for others
• We are all too busy trying to satisfy the demands of our boss or clients

We are all too busy with life,

That we forget to appreciate life itself,

We forget about our inner peace, which is the best that we can do for ourselves, for our loved ones and for the world.

We are doing too much.

INSTEAD

Take a moment for yourself.

Breathe it.

Relax.

Take a moment with your family.

A real one, without any other agenda.

Just look at them.

We don´t have to do that much.

Everything will be fine.

Appreciate those little seconds when you realize that you are going too fast.

Do less. Slow down

On Wednesday I had to pick up my wife from her language class at 17:30 and I wanted to wash the car. It was 16:45. I had time to go and wash it before and then pick her up.

INSTEAD,

I decided to go straight to pick her up.

I arrived together with my daughter 15 minutes in advance and we enjoyed walking around and waiting for her mom. It was very cool moment.

After that, we want the three of us to wash the car.

I could have washed the car and then go to pick her up. It was possible from the point of view of time and efficiency, but instead I decided to do less and go slower.

On Thursday we were going to meet friends for dinner at 19:30. It was 17:00 and I was already free. I had time to prepare the dessert that I had in mind, a healthy one that we would all enjoy.

INSTEAD,

My wife wanted to go for a walk with the little one.

We went the three of us and enjoyed more than 1 hour walking around, seeing how our daughter enjoyed the swings and slides in the playground.

We had nothing for dessert that dinner. But nobody missed it.

Instead, I could offer my good mood to my family and friends, without rush.

On Sunday I decided that I would have Monday off of my early morning training of Ashtanga Yoga at 6 am.

And suddenly, that same Sunday evening,

I fell on my old pattern.

1. The old pattern

From 2018 to October 2022 I felt very lost.

I felt bored and lonely.

• Yes, I had to keep up with my online business that was running decently since 2016
• Yes, I travelled here and there and it was fun
• Yes, I followed some courses of languages, of carpentry, of yoga and I learnt things, which felt good
• Yes, I got married in 2020 and felt less  lonely
• And Yes, we had a daughter in 2021 and we were very busy and happy

Everything helped to be entertained and of course feel less lonely.

But still, I felt lost,

Very lost.

I felt kind of empty inside.

• Like there was no point, no purpose
• Like I didn´t know what to do, nothing was meaningful
• Like I was paying to much attention to what others did, making myself dependant on them

One thing felt very good and it was volunteering using Workaway in exchange for accomodation and food.

I did it twice, once in a house in Cahors (France) and a second one in a hostel in New Orleans (USA). Both were great experiences, I felt full of excitement and fulfilled. Something was telling me that worki was good to me, despite what I always thought that having free time, freedom and being on vacation was the best.

2. The turning point

In October 2022 I touched deep ground.

My wife, who is extremely caring, patient and understanding lost her patience.

She got mad at me because she felt guilty for my unsatisfaction with life.

In that moment I felt that I was following her plans, because I had nothing better to do.

I felt miserable.

And I made her feel miserable out of guilt.

In that same moment I decided that I could not continue that way.

I decided that I had to commit to do something that was meaningful to me. I couldn´t be just running around behind someone else´s plan.

I had two options:

• Running a hostel
• Becoming a Yoga teacher

The first one sounded too big, buying a house, starting a new renovation (we had 2 in 1 year)… it was too big in that moment.

So the decision was easy: I would become a Yoga teacher.

And I commited to it.

3. The new pattern

Ever since I commited to become a Yoga Teacher, I am practicing almost everyday.

Quickly I decided to follow a 200 Hours Yoga Teacher Training Course, which I did in January 2023 in Mysore (India), best known city in the world for Ashtanga Yoga.

There I built the habit of practicing the hard series of Ashtanga at 6:00 am and I am keeping it now, just by myself, back at home.

I feel fit.

I feel with energy, although the body can be tired and some muscles may hurt at times.

But the mind is in order.

3. Falling into the old pattern

So, as I said in the beginning, I decided to have Monday off of early morning training.

Therefore, on Sunday evening I didn´t have to go to sleep at 11 pm.

That´s why I stayed a bit longer (11:30 pm) checking Instagram.

And then wandering around.

And then, when I finally got into bed at 12, I decided to fall into another old pattern: playing chess on the telephone.

That took me again 40 more minutes.

Chess (and probably the screen) made my brain very excited, very active.

So when I turned off to sleep, I couldn´t.

I simply couldn´t.

For 2 hours.

The little one also woke up (as usual) and made me more awaken.

So I could only fall asleep at 3 am.

And I felt guilty and stupid,

For not being able to have a loooong night sleep, since I could wake up later do to the rest.

4. Conclusion

Even though waking up at 6 in the morning in order to practice around 2 hours of yoga is energy and willpower demanding,

The truth is that I become a better person.

I experienced the case for one day of falling back into the old pattern, the routine where I had nothing special to do on the next day, and all I did was just waste time in front of a screen, get nervous and even sleep less than usual.

When I have my morning practice, 

Even if it´s hard and sometimes I get grumpy,

It feels very good.

I feel energized, I feel clean, strong, determined, enthousiastic.

And the day just flies.

CONCLUSION:

Keep practicing yoga everyday. It´s good for you.

For some reason, everything that I have been told about yoga and the benefits of daily practice, it´s true.

I can keep trusting it.

Karma Yoga is the Yoga of action.

1. Do your duty consciously
2. Without any expectation on return
3. With complete devotion towards God

Surrender to God.

The fruits of your work are to God. It´s liberating; you are free of any responsibility.

If you received the fruits of your work, you would always argue.

So,

Just do your duty.

Who can control his breath, can control his mind.

Pranayama means regulation of breath.

Normal breathing in a person is about 15-18 times per minute.

With constant yoga practice we aim to reduce it to 8-10 times per minute.

Calming down your breath you can:

1. Calm down your mind
2. Slow down your time of response
3. Improve your listening skills

Quick response usually spoil everything.

By slowing down your breath and therefore your reactions, you will automatically have more time to think and offer a better response. And you will listen better to others, which will be translated into more love to them and more love coming to you.

Just by breathing consciously.

Yesterday we arrived from our trip to India, where I did my Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga TTC.

In the same afternoon we went to buy two blocks and a strap for yoga practice.

It´s the first time that I buy those props.

Never before I had used them for my practice at home.

But I learnt a lot during the Teacher Training Course about my limitations and how to improve with the help of props.

Other than that,

An immense sense of coherence invaded me during the whole afternoon.

Buying those props felt like a first step in the right direction.

Those props facilitate the yoga practice for me and I have the feeling of buying a bunch of them to facilitate the practice of others.

It happened the same when I bought some Singing Tibetan Bowls in Mysore. Those bowls helped me once to calm my mind and enter meditation in an extraordinary way and I believe that they can be very helpful and healing to others.

Those blocks, strab and bowls feel like the first equipment of our hostel.

Really.

I am not sure if I am flexible enough to become a yoga teacher,

Even, I have no idea if we will ever settle down or be able to by a house for that dream hostel that we have in mind.

But the direction feels right.

And that is key.

I believe in taking care of yourself, in the importance of having a calm mind, in detachment from material things, in eating just enough, in enjoying the here and now, in walking barefoot…

I deeply believe that yoga can heal and make of us better people.

Probably that is why I felt that endless coherence after having done the Yoga TTC and after buying those props.

Probably that is why I still feel coherence.

My actions are getting aligned with my mind and my heart.

Thanks Jean Pierre.

I just woke up,

In the middle of the night,

And broke into tears.

I have revived in my dreams an everyday life scene of my childhood.

My mom was been interviewd for a national TV channel (that´s not normal)

She had the hairstyle and the clothes that I remember from her and that I have seen infinite times in our old family pictures.

She had her gaze, with those big eyes.

While me and one of my siblings were enjoying our daily bath, in the bathroom of our childhood home.

It was so clear.

I feel that I have connected the dots.

I have seen the energy of my mom, raising her kids, and I have also seen how she is now, with much less energy, being a very caring grandmother..

Everything has been probably caused by a very unique meditation run by Dr. Swami Dev Arhato last evening at Osho Glimpse.

In this kind of meditations induced by tibetan bowls, the vibration of the sound enters your body and can bring back to you images of your childhood, situations that you want to bring back from your body and unconscious memory into your psicological memory.

During the deep meditation I constatly saw pictures of my daughter and ocasionally some of my wife.

I felt a little bit disappointed because I didn´t have scenes from my childhood.

But some hours later, in my dreams, I connected the dots:

I am my daughter.

And my wife is my mom.

It felt like there is no time.

There is no Past, no Future.

It´s just a little 40-years jump back in time.

Some flashes of my childhood came after waking up in tears,

Where I could feel the endless energy of my mom, raising 4 kids.

So much love.

And I see that same love in Eva,

She is me.

And she is receiving the endless love of her mom, my beautiful wife,

Just like my mom did with me.

And again I break into tears.

Because I can´t feel more thankful,

Firstly because I have felt that love while I was a kid,

And secondly because I am lucky enough to be the main spectator in this beautiful theater of life, where history repeats itself for us to enjoy and learn.

Thank you.

This is another sequence for hips opening and Hamstrings stretching.

Keep working on your trouble area and amazing results will come in a few days.

1. Hamstring extreme stretching

• Use 6 blocks
• Step with both feet on 3 blocks
• Bend forward, breathe and stay there for 30 seconds to 1 minute
• Magic will happen

2. Padangusthasana on the wall

• Face your back to the wall, bend down and touch the floor with the palms (use blocks if necessary)
• Bring heels back until they touch the baseboards of the wall (if there is no baseboards, leave some space between the heels and the wall
• With legs stretched and buttocks touching the wall, bend forward. Back straight

3. Utthita Trikonasana on the wall (Triangle)

• Touch the wall with your heels.
• Turn Right foot 90º. Keep Left foot straight
• Bend to the right while keeping your buttocks on the wall. You should feel the hips opening

4. Utthita Parsvakonasana on the wall (Side Angle)

• Legs apart one leg distance.
• Right foot 90º. Left foot straight (0º)
• Left heel should be touching the wall, while Right foot should be apart. Ankle of left foot should be paralell to right foot.
• Keeping buttocks on the wall, bend the left knee as much as possible, but keep the left leg paralell to the hips, don´t let it go inside

5. Prasarita Padottanasana (wide legged forward bend)

Here we have 2 exercises

• Touch wall with toes.
• Bend forward until you can place the back on the wall.
• Stay there for 30 seconds to 1 minute

Second exercise:

• Face the wall with your back
• Bend forward
• Adjust heels to the wall
• Bend forward with straight back, while buttocks touch the wall

On Friday I felt very frustrated.

During the early morning Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga practice I felt that my progress is going in extremely little steps, that I am not flexible…

And next to me I saw that everybody were flexible and strong.

Everyone was doing poses better than me, I was the only one using props (block and belt) for every pose.

Really.

In any forward bending, I was the highest one,

While everyone is touching the toes and the floor easily, I am like 30 cm away from them, just looking from up there.

«Who am I trying to tease? Even my little 11-years-old niece is more flexible than me, I will never reach to that level of flexibility, even if I was working on it for years.»

I felt very low.

I felt very discouraged.

On top of that, during Philosophy class the teacher told us that the first part to train (from all 8 limbs of yoga) is Asanas. If you want to master Prayanayama, Pratyahara, Dharana and the rest, first you need to master Asana. Because only when you master Asanas, your body is eligible to master Pranayama.

Which makes sense.

But it felt very discouraging for me.

Because my mastery of Asana is very far from mastery.

So, how to overcome this frustration?

These are 4 thinking processes that I came up with to come out from there.

1. What would you do if not this?

For years I have felt very lost.

I didn´t know what to do.

I felt bored and lonely.

And loneliness was a consequence of not know what to do, of boredom.

All this brought up personal problems, not just my own worries, but it also affected the relationships with my closest ones.

I tried different things to fight boredom, like travelling, volunteering, carpentry, padel,

And they were working fine for some time, they all had their reason to be there in that moment.

But they all finished.

Last October I made a commitment: I would would train yoga in order to become a Yoga Teacher. Or at least, go much deeper into the practice, because I had practiced Yoga here and there for the last 8 years and it always felt good.

So, even with all this frustration,

What could I do if not Yoga?

For years I didn´t know what to do and I had tried many thing, and now, this commitment to Yoga is bringing:

• Clarity of mind, and is taking away most of those spirals of bad thoughts from my mind
• Great Health conditions, I am clearly in my best moment of the body in terms of weight, flexibility and strength I would say in my whole life or at least in the last 23 years, since I was 17.
• Lots of good energy, I feel light, I start the day in good mood

So, even with all frustration, staying on this path deserves continuity.

2. Find out why you are doing what you are doing

Talking to some partner in the school of yoga here in Mysore they told me that they were doing this for themselves and to share with others.

I didn´t feel completely related, but trying to find the original reason why you are doing something can be very helpful in low moments.

First thing that came to my mind is that:

• I am doing this for my daughter

I don´t want that she grows up with a father that is completely lost in life, in bad shape, with low energy and depressed. I want that she sees that it is possible to pursue your dreams, even if they are difficult to reach.

I don´t want to hide my low moments from her, but I also don´t want that she thinks that life is a burden and that there is nothing to dream of.

Since I am practicing yoga, I am more focused, I am enjoying my free time more, because the busy time is interesting and compelling. I want to stay in this way.

Also:

• I am doing this for my wife

She doesn´t deserve a lost husband, a lost soul wandering around not knowing what to do.

Before making that commitment in October I was that lost.

Now I am much better.

Even if I don´t know the end goal of all this, the path is feeling good to our relationship.

Finally

• I am doing this for others and for myself

I am selfish.

I want to have fun, keep practicing, stay healthy and share all this with others in our hostel.

3. The real cause of frustration

Frustration comes from not getting what you want when you want.

We want everything now.

We live in this fast world where satisfaction has to come immediately.

I remember the times when you could be staring at television for hours, even watching just ads, in order to watch a movie. It didn´t matter if the movie was better or worse.

Now we want to find the best movie in few seconds.

We get impatient if we can´t find it online in the first 10 minutes.

And everything is like that.

There was the time when you would make an appointment to meet some friend: a fixed time and a place. And you waited there as long as it was necessary.

Now, if the friend is not there by the time you arrive, you call or text him asking when he is coming.

We are not patient.

I am not patient.

Processes need time.

Becoming a master in yoga (and therefore a teacher) is not something that you can do in a few days.

But my mind tells me the opposite. I want it and I want it now.

The normal consequence?

Frustration.

So be patient.

4. Don´t compare to others

Apart from noticing that my progress was not fast enough, I could see that other people were far ahead of me.

From my point of view it didn´t matter if they have been practicing everyday for the last 10 years, or if their nature is more flexible… or if their minds are struggling while they are doing the perfect pose.

From my point of view they were just better than me,

And I am a failure.

Comparing to others doesn´t bring much.

You can use it to your advantage, to improve, to see what you will be able to do when you practice enough.

Don´t use comparison against you.

Because there will always be someone that does it better than you.

Be gentle with yourself, accept your own process and keep working on it.

5. What is the whole point of yoga?

All this frustration and discouragement are far away from the main goals of yoga, which are:

1. Having a strong mind
2. Having a peaceful mind

There are other further goals, but these two are main and come up from the beginning.

Enjoy the process, relax your mind and keep showing up.

Conclusions

Any process of learning implies the realization that you know very little about the topic.

The more you learn, the more you realize that you don´t know.

So frustration is common.

How to deal with it?

1. Find out why you are doing it. Finding the real reason to what you are doing brings back all the meaning, all the sense, the end goal
2. Realize that you are on the right path. You chose this path for some reasons. There were many options and you chose this one. If no better option arose and you just feel frustrated, keep going, keep showing up. Important is that you stay on the path.
3. Be patient. Processes need time. Especially the meaningful ones. Easy things are not worthy. Important things are not easy. Give yourself the time to improve.
4. Don´t compare to others, it doesn´t bring anything and you actually don´t know what their processes have been, what they are struggling with and what their plans are. Just focus on your practice.
5. Stay calm. Keep practicing. Constant, daily practice will bring a strong and peaceful mind. Remember that.

Basically, as a summary, keep practicing.

Only practice is important.